Stop Self-Deprecating

Stop it.  It’s not funny.  It endears you to no one.

The lame, and very much overused, attempts at humor many men use at 1918117cdthat-awkward-moment-when-you-make-a-self-deprecating-comment-and-no-one-disagrees-b1319their own expense very often work against many of their own stated (or dreamed) goals and aspirations.  For men who wish to be all that God has called them to be, it’s an everyday challenge to be bold, decisive, confident, witty, and fun; especially when you don’t feel or act that way naturally.  Why do you continue to say things about yourself, even if true, that are contrary to the way you want to be?

Recently, I had an encounter at work with a soft-spoken, soft-bellied, middle-aged man who approached me at the coffee machine:

Self-Deprecator: “Hey. How are you doing?”

Me: “Oh. Hi [self-deprecator].  What’s up?”

SD: “What’s up?  Oh, I don’t know. No one gave me the memo.”

Me: “No one gave you the memo? Surely, you don’t need…”

SD: “… well, except my wife. She gives me a memo all time – mostly about all the stuff I’m doing wrong… ahahah.  amirite?”

Oof!  Wrong. You could see the very last of his soul just crackling with each word.  I felt bad for him.  Like a beaten dog, you could see he wanted more in life, but had just endured so much disappointment for so long.

Life (and death) is the power of the tongue (Prov 18:21).  You must stop saying negative things about yourself, and start saying positive. Actually, it goes deeper than what you say (the tongue) to what you believe (the heart). Jesus said “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45)

You must start speaking about and creating the positive, transformative, and dynamic person in Christ that He’s calling you to be.  God Himself calls those things that do not exist as though they did.

SUGGESTION: If you feel the need to make a joke, perhaps start by making one at someone else’s expense. That’s daring. That’s bold. Give it a shot. You’ll love the thrill of gently challenging another person in your immediate vicinity.  It’s could be the first signal to everyone else that you’re not on the bottom of the totem pole any longer.

But cut self-deprecation out of your routine.  Strong men (leaders, adventurers) don’t look down on themselves and don’t tear themselves down.

Try it!  Changing your behavior can influence your whole environment.

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